When Paul speaks about interpersonal relationships in Ephesians 6:1-3, he quotes directly from Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and mother.” But then, he adds a little bit of his own commentary on the back end of verse 2: “…Which is the first commandment with a promise.”
We might not notice it at first, but he’s exactly right. When you look at the Decalogue in Exodus 20, the fifth commandment is literally the first one that has a promise attached to it. Moses tells Israel that if they honor their parents, their days will be “prolonged” in the Promised land.
That brings up an interesting relationship. Why is it that respect for one’s parents equals longevity in Canaan? We know that what ultimately will decide how long they stay is their devotion to God (Deuteronomy 28:58-68), so why bring up mom and dad?
To put it simply, respect for one’s parents will equal respect for other authority figures as well. In Romans 13, Paul mentions the relationship between God and local government, even going so far as to say that the institution of government is established by God. To disrespect and disobey those offices then, is to disrespect and disobey God.
(There are obvious caveats to this point, such as when the government forces you to go against God, as in the case of Daniel, but the general point remains true.)
The same could be said for families. I had no control over who my parents were, but I did have control over how I responded to their authority. Thankfully, I had parents that had my best interests at heart and raised me to love and honor God, but I know a lot of people aren’t quite as lucky.
Obedience to parents in the “small things,” such as brushing your teeth and making it home by curfew, will inevitably translate to obedience to God. If I can’t even respect my parents enough to make my room when they tell me, what makes anyone think I’ll respect God when He tells me to resist my favorite temptation (Luke 16:10-13)?
What God knew about devotion is that it started at the family level. If the home was anti-authority, then those children would grow up to be anti-authority. God is nothing but authority, so disobedience on the family level will eventually be disobedience to God. Which will eventually lead to disinheriting the land.
It’s common to hear parents complain about how they have no control over their kids. In some cases, I’m sure that’s probably true. But in the vast majority of them, it’s a lack of desire to train them properly. You may think that you can look the other way for those temper tantrums now, but have you seen what an 18-year-old temper tantrum looks like? It’s not pretty.
A child that doesn’t respect their parents won’t respect other sources of authority, such as school administrators and local police. Ultimately, they won’t respect God. Of all the things we can teach our children that will have long-lasting effects, respecting an authority outside of self is near the top of the list.
