To most modern readers, the rules in the first five books of the Old Testament seem old-fashioned and, quite frankly, out of date. They claim that today is a “different world” with “advanced people.” The religious part of that group will say that we live under a different covenant (which is true), and therefore the nuances of the Hebrew legal code have very little value for us.
Is that what you think? I’ll admit that I’ve thought it from time to time. We read these passages and thank our lucky stars we don’t have to deal with mixed textiles or restrictions on the Sabbath. But if we look a little closer, we’ll see the thinking behind these laws.
Take the law of virginity, for instance. In Exodus 22:16-17, Moses tells the people that if a man seduces a virgin that is not betrothed to any other man, and sleeps with her, that he must take her as his wife. If her family refuses the marriage, the man must pay the dowry anyways.
This whole scene shows the value that God places on the sexual relationship and its effect on both parties. In the Bible’s eyes, this relationship isn’t just a “one-night stand” or a “rite of passage”— it’s an act that fundamentally changes the status of two individuals.
You can see this, right? Even the most aggressive serial daters realize that a life of promiscuity changes you on a fundamental basis. The sexual relationship rewires the brain for intimacy, which creates and then deepens the bond for a lifetime of marriage. To sleep with as many people as you want fights against that natural development.
But think a little deeper about the reasoning behind the dowry, or price for a bride. To the father of the bride, his daughter has a financial value, as well as hopefully (and primarily), an emotional one. That daughter represents the future of his family line. If a one-night stand disrupts that, his entire generational output is disrupted.
None of this is to argue that the most important piece of virginity is the monetary gain—far from it. Instead, as Paul argues, sexual immorality is a sin against God and yourself (1 Corinthians 6:18). You’re not just giving away your time or possessions, you’re giving away your intimacy and your future.
Yes, God wants us to control our bodies with honor and purity (1 Thessalonians 4:1-8), but virginity also benefits us as well. It’s a gift we give our spouse, meant to create a deep bond that will carry us through the ups and downs of life. If we create those with random people we meet on the street, it cheapens marriage, which is the greatest gift God has given us this side of eternity.
